13 Villainous Thoughts on WWE's SummerSlam
Salutations, Henchmen!
Let’s start off with the elephant in the room; a hell of a lot of WWE related news has transpired since my last PPV review! (oops- I guess we call them Premium Live Events now, eh?) Most notably, Vince McMahon has retired, Nick Khan and Stephanie McMahon were announced as Co-CEOs, Triple H became head of creative, and the ratings changed to 14-A. In other words, the company was entirely shaken up. SummerSlam would now be the first PLE of the post-Vince McMahon era. Myself and most of the WWE Universe would be looking at this event as a taste of what this new era might feel like. Well, after last night I can confidently say that IT IS GOING TO BE FUCKING INCREDIBLE! Seriously, SummerSlam was absolutely the best PLE of the year so far. It exceeded my expectations and then some. It was entertaining from start to finish. Every match had an entertainment factor. Even the product integrations were on point (shoutout to Maximum Male Models for making me crave plain old water lol). I came out of it feeling proud to be a fan of the WWE again. It was my favourite night of wrestling in a long time. This is quickly veering into the realm of waxing lyrical but hey, I’m alright with giving credit where credit is due. Now that I have properly *acknowledged* the new status-quo, here’s 13 Villainous Thoughts™ on SummerSlam!
Bianca vs. Becky has officially entered my list of favourite women’s wrestling feuds of all time. Last night’s match felt like the perfect ending to their story (for now). It was everything that we wanted to see at last year’s SummerSlam but it was definitely worth the wait until this year. This time around, Bianca’s win meant so much more and was all the more satisfying.
DING DONG! MY GIRL IS BACK! WELCOME HOME, BAYLEY! *CACKLES MANIACALLY*
A big welcome (back) to Iyo Sky and Dakota Kai, too!
My hype for the women’s division shot through the roof last night!
Iyo Sky though?? I guess needless name changes are still a thing in this new era, eh? The more things change the more they stay the same. Lol.
SQUAD GOALS.
I’m salivating over AJ Styles vs. Ciampa. Don’t water it down with Logan Paul and the Miz (although they’re both great)- JUST GIVE IT TO US STRAIGHT!
Another one bites the dust thanks to the Full-Nelson!
I still haven’t made any gains on my Full-Nelson new year’s resolution….I am begrudgingly living vicariously through Lashley at this point.
I’m still having a hard time understanding all this Pat McAfee hype so I figured I’d look up some of his NFL highlights….and I got bored and gave up after number 6. If there’s anything worse than an NFL kicker, it might be an NFL punter. Needless to say, I still don’t get the hype?
Everyone seems to think that when the Street Profits break-up Montez Ford will end up getting the Shawn Michaels treatment while Angelo Dawkins gets Jannetty’d. Nah! I believe in Dawkins! I think he’ll end up holding his own just fine. Perhaps he’ll follow in the footsteps of Matt Hardy, who faced similar doubts and but ultimately emerged as singles competitor with the Version 1 gimmick and became a fan-favourite. Time will tell.
I was stressed as all hell during the SmackDown women’s championship match!
I just stress ate an entire row of Oreos during this match 😬😅 #AndStill #SummerSlam https://t.co/wB5gNveldO#SmackDown #WomensTitle on the line at #SummerSlam and @YaOnlyLivvOnce keeps on fighting! https://t.co/xXG0fEi84oWWE @WWEDon’t get me wrong, I am a hardcore beLIVer but seeing Liv across the ring from the Baddest Woman on the Planet made her look like a sacrificial lamb. I could not imagine a way out of this for Liv where she was able to keep her title (and her arm). Luckily, creative could. They managed to sneak out of a rock and a hard place without stuffing Liv’s championship run or compromising Ronda’s reputation as a fearsome badass. As an added bonus, it looks like Ronda might be suspended for a while, which will allow Liv some breathing room to defend her title against other contenders.
The more Theory attacks people with his Money in the Bank briefcase the more concerned I get. That thing is getting busted up pretty badly. What if it gets so badly deformed that they are unable to actually open the briefcase when it comes time for Theory to cash-in?! LOL. That kind of karma would be unreal. And hilarious.
I’ll be honest- I am not a fan of last man standing matches. At all. There’s nothing particularly exciting to me about watching a fight where the ratio of counts to hits/moves favours the counts. Watching the referee count to eight or (gasp!) nine over and over again is boring and it only gets more frequent as the match goes on. By the end, we’re watching a nine count after every move. Yikes. So yeah, I was not too hyped heading into the main event last night. BOY, WAS I PLEASANTLY SURPRISED! It was a beautiful disaster!
I found myself chuckling near the end simply from the scene of carnage I was witnessing. Theory was on the ground. Heyman was on the ground. The Usos were on the ground. The announce table was decimated. THE RING WAS DECIMATED. I loved it.
The addition of a tractor to the main event really sealed the deal for me on Cowboy Brock. Incredible. Brock Lesnar throwing down a hang loose 🤙 on a tractor has replaced Brock Lesnar head banging with the MITB briefcase as my favourite Brock Lesnar moment.
Cowboy Brock has been taken to new heights…and Cowgirl Vesper is right there with him!
HA! JUST KIDDING! I ALREADY HAVE ONE! 😈🤠 #SummerSlam #CowboyBrockjust trying to decide if I should buy a tractor or not? 😈 #SummerSlam #CowboyBrockVesper Vee, EH-Lister. @vesper_veeMwahahahaha!
Damn. What a show, eh?! The post-Vince era has certainly started off with a bang! I can’t wait to see how things play out for the rest of the year, especially in the women’s division! What were your favourite parts of the show? What are you most looking forward to? As always, my DMs are open (@vesper_vee).
Until next time, Henchmen! Stay evil.