6 Villainous Thoughts on WWE's Bash in Berlin
Salutations, Henchmen!
I’m going to make this one short and sweet because who has time for a middling PLE in Germany on the last long weekend of the summer?! Who makes these schedules? And why do they hate long weekends?! Your Overlord has beers, hotdogs and other barbequed delicacies to consume whilst lounging around in skimpy bikinis and soaking up every last drop of dwindling Canadian sunshine!
I only get like two whole months of this! I’m already a beer and two franks* in as I write this…so apologies in advance if the villainous thoughts are a bit more villainous than usual. Hehe. Here’s 6 Villainous Thoughts on Bash in Berlin™!
*Hey, it suits the German setting, especially since I called them “franks”! It’s basically Oktoberfest on my back deck right now.
Wow, Kevin Owens has officially gone soft, eh? This is the same betrayal I felt when my guys Loki and Jamie Lannister turned into lame do-gooders. BORING! Boo, redemption arcs!
Joe Tessitore will make his debut on commentary tomorrow night on Raw! Apparently I am the only one who is excited for this. Clearly you guys have not watched enough Holey Moley. The guy is hilarious. In fact, they should recreate the mini golf dream team and add Rob Riggle to the announce table as well! Rob Riggle makes Pat McAfee look like a total chump (although that isn’t exactly hard to do).
Normally I struggle to identify with Pepsi Zero Phil in any way but last night we finally found some common ground as he continued to prolong his strap match with Drew McIntyre. If I were strapped to Drew then I, too, would take my sweet time and do anything I could to keep myself there. Hehe.
Need I go on record once more about the inherent kinkiness of strap matches? It’s just hard not to go there when the goal is essentially to see who can withstand more spanks to their naked skin with a leather strap! Instead, I will use this point to inform you that strap matches aren’t the only weird stipulation match in the WWE that get me hot and bothered. Those would be bullrope, blindfold, good old fashioned donnybrook, dungeon, any variation of lumberjack (especially lumberjill), ultimate submission, kiss my ass, handcuff, good housekeeping, objects on a pole, any chain variation, dog collar, symphony of destruction, and thanksgiving leftovers throwdown, in no particular order… ;)
Rhea Ripley is out here doing it for everyone who has ever been two-timed! It is so glorious and satisfying to watch her kick Dominic’s ass.
Speaking of satisfying- I love a clean submission finish! Gunther definitely showed out in his first World Heavyweight Championship defense.
So, there you have it! I hope you managed to enjoy the Bash in Berlin and hope that you enjoy the rest of your long weekend even more!
Until next time, Henchmen! Stay evil.
I'm glad someone has pointed out the eroticism of the dog collar match. You hate your opponent so much that you want to partake is some light bdsm?
Henchmen, gotta use that in a poem sometime soon