Women Crush Wednesday

Salutations, Henchmen!

I am finally conceding. Today, you shall be presented with your first fictional woman crush: Dizzy Flores from Starship Troopers.

Yep. This is what happens when I leave the decisions in your hands, Henchmen. When I asked for woman crush suggestions on my Instagram story last week, a supporting character from a 90’s VHS I used to own was certainly not the kind of answer I was expecting…BUT I DIG IT. And so did all of you, apparently, since the picture I put up of Dizzy on my IG story got more heart-eye emoji responses than any of my own pictures ever have…(ahem, love you too, guys). BUT ANYWAY, not only did it seem like a fun one to do, I was also just happy to have an excuse to rewatch Starship Troopers for the first time since I was like, ten. And BOY is it a much more interesting ride when you’re old enough to not be creeped out by the CGI space bugs! WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD*.

* Are spoiler warnings even required if a movie has been out for more than twenty years? If you haven’t seen it by now, I doubt you will? You should, though. If only for the shower scene with our woman crush. IF you think a boob flash is worth sitting through two hours of shooting space bugs and thinly veiled satire, that is.

First of all, I’ve just got to say that this movie was not at all what I remembered. I seriously only remembered the bugs, tbh. I was actually pleasantly surprised to find myself watching military satire, considering I had my expectations set for a cheesy 90’s sci-fi blockbuster (i.e. incredibly low). There’s nothing quite like settling in for a gory guilty pleasure and getting slapped in the face with an unabashed, loud critique of the senselessness of war. But that was just the first surprise of many tucked away in this forgotten treasure( if we can call it that?). This movie is jam packed with random shit. From the futuristic football game (apparently America is still very much America in the 23rd century), to the casting of Gary Busey’s son (LOL), to the half-hearted romantic subplot. Oh, and lest we forget young Neil Patrick Harris using his psychic powers to communicate with a brainy space bug…and a ferret. Man, this movie is WILD.

Anyway, back to your chosen woman crush, Dizzy. Just to be clear, you guys are aware that Denise Richards is in this movie, right? Because she’s quite the woman crush in her own right, I couldn’t believe no one had even mentioned her. BUT I suppose it’s hard not to root for the the underdog here, especially when she looks like this:

Honestly though, how on earth could Rico overlook a friend like that?! You’re telling me that he never once considered just giving her the D she so desperately wanted? Not even during his sexless year of military training? Not even after Carmen dumped him via video in front of everyone? COME ON! In a movie about an intergalactic war with space bugs, that’s STILL the most unbelievable thing. I know I wouldn’t be able to ignore those bouncy curls and that cheeky smile…

So yeah, I could definitely get down with Dizzy. She’s a classic example of the tough, cool girl who is “just like one of the guys”. Sure, that archetype may be overdone but it’s overdone for a reason. I mean, don’t we all wish we had a best friend that we connect with who also happens to be smoking hot and completely unafraid to get naked with us? Hehe.

Well, that one was fun, eh! HIT ME UP WITH MORE WCW SUGGESTIONS ON INSTA OR TWITTER (@VESPEROFEVIL). Especially if they come with a movie or TV recommendation…I’ve run out of shit to watch for the hundredth time this year.

Until next time, Henchmen! Stay evil.