Women Crush Wednesday
Salutations, Henchmen!
I’ll be totally honest- your Overlord is still slowly emerging from a sugar coma induced by feasting on halloween candy, so you’ll have to bear with me on this one. While I may not be the biggest fan of Halloween itself, I most certainly am a big fan of half priced halloween candy on November 1st. Much like keen shoppers line up for the openeing of the malls on Boxing Day, your Overlord lines up for the opening of the grocery store on November 1st. Though I may look like I rolled out of bed and came straight there (because I definitely did), I am not to be messed with when it comes to securing cheap chocolate. Seriously, I WILL FIGHT A KAREN FOR A BOX OF CADBURY ASSORTED FUN TREATS.
I mean, wouldn’t you? Crispy Crunch, Mr. Big, Caramilk AND Wunderbar?! Cadbury Assorted Fun Treats is the ULTIMATE SCORE. It reigns supreme in the chocolate category of halloween candy boxes. Last year they were completely sold out and I had to settle for the Hershey’s Assortment. Look at this garbage:
There’s literally two types of Reese’s in there! AND YOU CALL THAT AN “ASSORTMENT”?!?! It’s amateur hour. And don’t even get me started on Nestle’s Halloween Favourites. Favourites, really? If you’re a Canadian soccer mom, perhaps… Generic Classics seems more apt. Sure, Coffee Crisp is great but it’s not enough to save an otherwise lacklustre assortment. Needless to say, Cadbury runs the game in the chocolate category of halloween candy assortments. If you are a Cadbury giver at the door, congrats, you still have street cred in your neighbourhood.
As for the jelly candy category, Maynards’ Fun Treats takes the cake. No questions asked, without a doubt.
What a splendid assortment of high-quality jelly candies that encapsulates a variety of textures, fruit profiles and the spectrum of sweet to sour flavours. No one else does it like Maynards. If you’re a Maynards giver at the door, congrats, you would probably be a compatible snack match for your Overlord. I would gladly sneak candy into a movie theatre with you. Oh, also, special shoutout to those who give out the mini jelly food candies at the door!
Just look at how adorable those mini jelly hamburgers are! We all love mini things! We all love candy versions of regular food! Whoever thought of making these was a genius.
Now, I’m not even going to touch the chip and pop categories. Let’s face it- if you hand out chips or pop to trick or treaters you’re kind of a jerk. The nine or ten chips the poor kiddos do manage to get in those tiny airbags just end up getting crushed by the pops the other jerks hand out. Pop peddlers, you know what you do wrong. Do you derive a sick pleasure from knowing the poor kiddos are going to have to lug around the weight of your can of pop from house to house while it smacks against their leg and crushes everything they get? Or is it knowing that it’ll explode in their face if they decide to they open it afterwards that really does it for you? eh? eh?! You are the real monsters of Halloween!
Whew- alright, sorry about that. I maaaay have crushed a few Wunderbars to perk me up while I was writing that and the next thing I knew I was riding a sugar high and raging against pop and chips. Don’t get me wrong, I love pop and chips, especially since us Canadians have the BEST flavours. Yeah, I said it. No, I’m not going to get into that flavour argument right now because I’ve been there and done that…multiple times. Hehe. Instead, I’m going to quit talking about halloween candy and give you some eye candy! Let’s get to your Woman Crush this week, shall we?!
Fair warning to you all: this week’s Woman Crush may result in a Toxic Attraction. It’s the desirable, athletic and glamourous…MANDY ROSE!
If you are already familiar with the Goddess that is Mandy Rose, then you already know that she is one of the most crushable women in the WWE and that this one is a long time coming. But what better time to celebrate her than after her first solo championship win! Just last week she managed to capture the NXT women’s championship at Halloween Havoc and I, for one, am happy to see Mandy Rose rewarded with a solo championship in the WWE. Over the past few years she has really shown her commitment to entertain the audience by going all-in on the storylines and partnerships she was given, no matter how silly. She has also shown a respect and love for the business by continuing to train hard and get better in the ring with each passing year. I’m proud to be a Mandy Rose fan!
If you aren’t already familiar with the Goddess that is Mandy Rose, well, you’re in for a treat! You certainly don’t have to be a pro-wrestling fan to appreciate this impeccable physique…
And, well, you wouldn’t be the only ones to appreciate it. Outside of the ring, Mandy Rose is an award-winning fitness and figure competitor. Obviously, she is incredibly physically attractive. You’d have to be blind to not notice perfection when you see it. However, I can’t help but find the perseverance, dedication and discipline one must possess to achieve and maintain such a level of fitness incredibly atrractive as well.
Wrestling aside, all you really have to know to appreciate her as a Woman Crush is that she’s talented, hard-working and very much appreciated by yours truly, yeah? ;) Oh, and she loves donuts. Like, really loves them. She has her own youtube channel, pop-up stores and line of merchandise dedicated to them (check it all out here). Idk, there’s something about donut-lovers. They’re just cool people*. People who don’t like donuts shouldn’t be trusted.
*On a totally unrelated note, remember when I ranked Tim Horton’s Donuts? ;)
Be sure to follow her on Instagram (@mandysacs) and Twitter (@WWE_MandyRose) to enjoy a bit of eye candy on your timeline everyday, eh! You can thank me later ;)
Until next time, Henchmen! Saty evil.
Enjoyed the read. Who the heck gives out pop for Halloween? Worst things I ever got were apples, pennies and cheap ass bubble gum.