Women Crush Wednesday
UNTOUCHABLE.
Salutations, Henchmen!
This week has been somewhat hectic for your Overlord (and probably for everyone else, really). It involved several long hours of driving through snow and slush to complete a very important mission: making a 20th birthday celebration for my cousin as special as I possibly could during the lockdown. Spending a birthday alone the year after you’re legally allowed to drink is something your Overlord could not condone. Naturally, I felt it necessary to hop in the car and bring the whiskey, the portable karaoke machine (yep) and ALL THE HYPE. The birthday was saved as we spent the night alone together in her room, taking shots and belting out the lyrics to all the Blink-182 songs we loved in elementary school (very poorly, I might add…much to her neighbour’s chagrin, I’m sure). Okay, there may have been some unabashed signing (or maybe screeching?) of Celine Dion in there too…maybe. By the way, allow me to share with you a karaoke PRO-TIP: when doing karaoke in public, always go with Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus. It’s pretty much impossible for anyone to perform it worse than the original. LOL. What is your go-to karaoke song, Henchmen? Feel free to share in the comments below or on my Twitter/Instagram (@vesperofevil). Especially if you have videos. I could use a good chuckle. Hehe.
Anyway, let’s switch gears from my embarrassing karaoke exploits to more pleasurable endeavours, shall we? It’s time for woman worship! I’m still at my cousin’s so I will keep this short and sweet. This week I’m actually going to throw it back to a Woman Crush that we already worshipped back in April because she’s one of my absolute favourites and she’s recently made a hell of a comeback that definitely deserves some attention. She’s unbelievable, she’s unforgettable, she’s UNTOUCHABLE…she’s WWESuperStar CARMELLA!
After several months away from in-ring action, your Overlord’s personal favourite Women’s Champion of all-time has returned to TV (finally)! My girl Carmella was revealed to be the mystery woman behind the sexy promos (see below) on SmackDown recently.
Really, with that gorgeous body and style, who else could it have been? She appears to have ditched her previous “Princess of Staten Island” gimmick to become an UNTOUCHABLE GODDESS. I for one, very much approve of this upgrade. It’s fit for a QUEEN. She made her official debut this past Friday night on SmackDown by single-handedly taking down the current women’s champion.
THAT’S. HOW. YOU. DO IT. Coming straight for the title with bold aggression. God, I missed that spunk. And don’t even get me started on that fire-hot ring gear…bright red latex?! Is she trying to give me a heart attack?!?! It’s the reason why I HAD to make her your Woman Crush this week. Such a badass return and killer look ought to be celebrated. In fact, it is a sight everyone should see before they shuffle off their mortal coil. Besides, having her in the newsletter again gives me an excuse to admire her photos on social media again.
It was obviously very hard to choose only four photos from her vast, stunning repertoire on social media. It’s probably best to just do yourself a favour and follow her on Twitter and Instagram (@CarmellaWWE) to see it all (if you can handle it). While you’re at it, check out her new podcast, Bare With Us, on Spotify. Yeah, she has a podcast now, too. I can’t wait to see what this Queen will conquer next…but here’s hoping it’s the Women’s Champion, eh!
Until next time, Henchmen! Stay safe and stay evil, of course.
